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*This is my blog,these are my thoughts and emotions. *Respect what i say. *Think twice before leaving a comment on my cbox. *Leave now before i tear u apart.



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28/04/06-392 days today.








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Friday, June 29, 2007

The sweetest men i've ever met..someone i got to knw in a very funny way will spare the details.haha this man is such a heartrob.He earned that kiss from me! He showed me the care i wanted all this while wierd that came from a stranger.all i can say is he's nice n sweet and passionate and there wasnt any sex jus for ur info!not ready to have sex yet with anyone!..its hard findin a white guy like that who wanted too be passionate instead of just fucking.well i was lucky enuf i guess..and coming from me i dont go for white guys but this was an exceptionaly case..hard to resist.LOL!well i believe he's gone now in his hot skinny pants.aww love his skinny pipe pants.super hot!..thanks john for letting me noe him!haha.. gracias


Signing Off At 5:22 AM

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Thursday, June 28, 2007









I saw this picture and i think it best describes my life now..well im have a mission to accomplish.i want to write a short story of my life being in love and hurt recently will do that on my flight..well i always have this believe i dont know if any of u believe this bt i do....the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry..the only person who can make you stop being hurt in pain is the person who hurt you so badly..its hard letting go love.cos its a part of us which has been bonded in our heart.but what can we actually do?we force ourselves to remove it.but then after removing it u'll realise a part of u died.u feel lost, ur soul will be wondering about aimlessly..so u just pretend to be strong.pretend ur moving on with life as normal.you show that person u can live without him.u go enjoy life.fuck around,drink till u drop,dance ur ass off,flirt with all the guys who passes smiles at you..and u lie to yourselve.you become the person your not but more of the person that he is or wants you to be..more of him and less of urself.you may seem to enjoy it 1st when ur in dat state of enjoying but after that moment stops, u realise ur lost and wondering again.Its like a temporary drug or pain killer.you consume more of it when ur in the lost state and you cant stop urself.Till the end of the day all the smiles and laughs lies a sad soul.a hurt soul, bruised soul.longin for his every bit again.Love, a word used too often these days.people make use of that simple word.a word so simple holds a long explaination to it. they use it as and when they please.sometmes u look back and wonder.did they use dat jus bcos he doesnt want to feel left out?did he use it bcos he wasnt sure what he feels?did he use it just for the fun of it?and then u really wonder..but he said he realy loves me n i meant the world to him he would never leave me for another guy.look at it now where is he?he stray away so easily with a misunderstanding.then whst was love worth of?u spend ur entire time for him.u get worried when somthing bother him,u cry when u love him so much.do you really want that all?you can love him as much as you want but are you willing to go thro the pain u went thro b4?tired,drained,exhausted?then u realise those are the things which actually triggers ur emotions.your own fears of being hurt by the same person.Then u tell yourself let it die in you slowy.and you'll die along with it..sigh..a deep saddness in me..but still longin for..


Signing Off At 6:03 PM

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Sunday, June 24, 2007

hooray!i will be goin to greece, athens in july.still waitin for confirmaton on my tickets n visa..im really hoping i can go there n get away from all this.bt sadly im going there alone.well im lookin forward to meet greece and the men though.hehe!well frenzie i'll confirm wit y'all wen i get the confirmation.so u will know my wherabouts aites.love u guys.U guys rawk my socks.lol MWUAKS to all of y'al


Signing Off At 1:14 PM

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Friday, June 22, 2007





What happens to you when love is gone? Someone you loved dearly and someone who means the world to you, gone just like that. I push myself harder everyday trying to move on with life. Everytime i try harder, it bleeds more and the pain worsens.I followed his "wise words" FUCK IT! this are things i can deal without those were his exact words. He is a fire horse and thats how he thinks and you can't change them its just up to them.let me give you a description on a fire horse. A person born in this year is said to be cheerful, popular and quick-witted. He has raw sex appeal rather than straight good looks. Earthy and warmly appealing, he is very perceptive and talkative. His changeable nature may lead him to be hot-tempered, rash and headstrong at times. The unpredictable Horse will fall in love easily and fall out of love just as easily.

In most cases the Horse will leave home early. If not, his independent spirit will goad him to start working or to take up some career at an early age. An adventurer at heart, still he is noted for his keen mind and ability to manage money. Self-reliant, vivacious, energetic, impetuous and even brash, the Horse is a showy dresser, partial to bright colors and striking designs to the point of being gaudy on occasion

The Horse loves exercise, both mental and physical. You can Spot him by his rapid but graceful body movements, his animated reflexes and fast away of speaking. He responds quickly and can make snap decisions. His mind works at remarkable speed and whatever he may lack in stability and perseverance, he will certainly make up for by being open-minded and flexible. Basically, he is a nonconformist.

The native of this sign is often called the playboy or playgirl of the cycle. He loves fanfare and being where the action is. Definitely a fun person, he loves to pay compliments as well as receive them. He is just as skillful in business as in love. The quick and nimble Horse appraises situations astutely and is able to manipulate both people and event.

On the negative side, the Horse person is impulsive and stubborn. He has an explosive temper, though he quickly forgets his outburst. Others, however, do not find them amusing and may not recover as fast. Often this trait will cause him to lose respect and credibility. He tends to rush people and is unhappy when they do not perform a quickly or efficiently as he does. He demands a great deal but is prepared to surrender little, particularly when it comes to his all-important freedom. He can be childish and petty in satisfying his whims and caprices. Often he is forgetful, absentminded and given to jumping to conclusions.

The Horse-born will want things done his way. Self-centered by nature, he likes his home and environment to revolve about him. With his remarkable powers of persuasion, he will set out to sway people to his way of thinking. Snapping his fingers and clicking his heels, this trailblazer can talk you into anything once he begins to dish out that charm. He sells himself as Mr. Personality Plus.

To be able to really understand a Horse, you have to know one thing. He or she firmly believes in "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness"--chiefly his own! And if you happen to subscribe to these same things yourself, well, he won't stand in your way. He is not possessive, suspicious OT jealous. The Horse only becomes aggressive when he fails to get his way after trying every angle.

His selfishness rarely extends into the monetary or material side of things. It would be more accurate to say that he is selfish with his time, his affection, his concern for others, his willingness to modify his ways in order to suit the group. He doesn't set out to be deliberately inconsiderate or contrary. He just cannot wait for other mortals to catch up to him, to match either his mental speed or hectic physical activity. For this reason, while he may be an outstanding performer, he is a poor teacher.

The Horse's inconsistency stems from his varying moods. He senses nuances that may go unnoticed by everyone else and he modifies his assessments accordingly. In other words, he goes by the feel of things. Don't ask him to explain his hunches and uncanny deductions. He can't. His is the amazing ability to improvise while the game is in progress. Frequently, he will be playing several games at the same time and be more than able to hold his own. Once he makes his swift decision, he does not hesitate on his course of action. You find him either dashing about doing 101 things or flat on his back from sheer exhaustion. More often than most signs, the Horse finds it difficult to unwind and may suffer from insomnia.

He keeps odd hours. A Horse is unable to stick to schedules not of his own making and has a lack of respect for standard procedures. When an idea strikes him, he will work around the clock without eating or sleeping. Then, when things are lax in the office, he is not above taking the day off to play hookey. He needs a stimulating job to display his competence.

He thinks up great promotional ideas, devises dynamic new approaches, solves tricky problems. So, if you have a Horse working for you, give him variety and plenty of rope, send him on missions impossible. His many valuable assets will come to the fore when he is given a free hand. But for goodness sakes, keep him busy. His performance will suffer when a job is undemanding.

When you are talking to a Horse, emulate him. Come to the point quickly, otherwise you will lose whatever fragile hold you may have on his attention. Whether the answer is Yes or No, give it to him directly, without disguise; he is quite able to revise his plans when they meet with opposition or to figure out a different way. Stringing him along will just bring out the worst in him. He will not take offense at frankness and will appreciate your being blunt if it means that you don't want to waste his time.

It would be unfair to ask a Horse to restrain himself unduly, to bottle up his feelings. He has to express himself. If he is forced to hold back his emotions, he may openly revolt--or break out in a rash if he is the silent type. Suspense and straitjacket procedures will kill him.

The Horse can be a fickle soul. If he cannot be with the one he love, then why not love the one he is with? Anyhow, there will be little harm in his flirtations: long, drawn-out entanglements do not appeal to him. The Horse knows which side his bread is buttered on. He won't get caught in a one-sided contract unless it happens to be on his side. He has a multitude of friends and makes more and more each day. But he learns never to rely too heavily on any of them.

The Horse could come prancing into your dull existence like a bright summer's day and make an invisible exit the minute you take your eyes off him. Then, just when you will have given up hope of ever hearing from him again, he could come waltzing back and pick up where he left off just as if he had never left.

Quick to warm up and reach top speed, a person born under the Horse sign is equally quick to lose interest. Neither can he sustain a long siege. He certainly won't break down your door like a Dragon. He will leave his card and call another day when you are likely to be more receptive. When the winds of change blow, the Horse will alter his course.

While he may not have long staying powers, you can never be sure when a Horse will resume negotiations on a long-shelved project. His mind is like a jigsaw puzzle; if and when he finds a piece that will fit, he uses it.

Like his best friend, the Tiger, the Horse will sow some pretty wild oats in his heyday. But reminding him of his blunders will be useless. If there is anything this person dislikes, it's to dwell on his mistake With a cheerful but contrite "mea culpa," the Horse will shrug and chalk it up to experience. You can't expect him to win them all! Next time, he promises to step more carefully.

The lady Horse is full of spunk. She is tart and saucy; pert and pretty; nimble on her toes and intelligent. She could be a chatterbox without reprieve, a tennis champion or a Grand Prix driver.

She can do her nails, write a letter, watch TV, talk on the phone and mind the children, all at the same time. Her ideas for relaxing can be taxing. She works off her energy with play that could seem like hart labor to the rest of us. Did anyone mention climbing Mt. Everest? Give her two minutes to pack--she will join the expedition.

The Horse lady loves to get things done. She would be in ten places at the same time if she could. Sometimes, one could swear that she is competing with herself. There isn't anyone else around who can do so much so fast.

Horse girls may look as soft as whipped cream and will usually smell as fresh as lavender, but underneath it all, they have razor-sharp minds that match their agile bodies. She may be the kindly brown-mare type or the firebrand who tosses her hair defiantly against handling, but she'll never lose that talent for assessment. She makes friends easily and will take her romantic involvements lightly. Home is a practical, easy and well-located station where she can refuel and take stock of her situation. But you won't find her parked in one place permanently.

She will love crispness, greenness and outdoor sights and sounds. She refreshes herself in a thousand ways. The ocean's roar, the rustle of the trees, the magic of the woods, the majesty of the mountains, will all call to her sense of adventure. When she takes off, she isn't being unfaithful or unreliable. It's just her nature to respond to such exciting stimuli. If you love her and want to keep her, don't fence her in.

Horses of both sexes will accumulate wealth but not security. They don't care that much for security so they won't be missing all that much. They have an inclination to oversell, to stretch the truth, to ad lib with little white lies, all of which in their eyes are not faults but by-products of their creative imagination. They are not timid about taking the lead, and will run themselves out, so to speak, before stopping to listen to advice.

Orientals believe that whatever unbridled passions the Horse possesses, they will be multiplied many times over when he or she is born in the year of the Fire Horse, which comes once in every sixty-year cycle. The last Fire Horse year was in 1966 and it will not come again until the year 2026. In days of old (when liberated and overly assertive women were frowned upon as troublemakers and difficult to marry off) it was considered most unlucky to have a daughter born in this year.

Legend has it that the Fire Horse will consume everything in his path and wreak havoc wherever he goes. Many a lady Fire Horse, so they say, has ruined the life of a good man simply because of her passionate nature.

The male Fire Horse is not always considered as bad; he may even be fortunate as he can bring distinction on himself and be credited with famous as well as infamous deeds. The Horse, of course, like the Dragon and the Tiger, is identified as a strong masculine sign.

However, the fame and fortune of the Fire Horse, as well as Horses of other elements, seldom benefit their immediate family, especially as they usually leave home early. Leonid Brezhnev, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia and Otto Preminger (all born 1906) are but some examples of modern-day Fire Horses. Aristotle Onassis gave his year of birth as, 1905, but some historians put it in 1906, as he is said to have made himself a year older when he left home in order to get a job. Looking into his biography and phenomenal life style, I am willing to wager that he was indeed a Fire Horse instead of a Snake.

The animated and affable Horse is said to be very susceptible to the perils of love. He could easily lose everything if he falls head over heels in love. Consequently, he may have many affairs that end unhappily or even several marriages and divorces.

A Horse born in the summer will lead a better life than a winter Horse. His best stage in life will come during his middle age when he is mature enough to grudgingly accept the shackles of responsibility.

The best partners for the Horse will be the Tiger, Dog and Sheep. The next best matches will be with Dragons, Snakes, Monkeys, Rabbits, Boars, Roosters or another Horse.

The Horse will not fall for the Rat, who will not like the Horse's shifting ways either. He could also come into direct conflict in his dealings with the rigid Ox people. The Ox will demand consistency and the Horse cannot and will not comply.

so thats a fire horse.and im hiding myself from all mankind of that species now.i still miss him without a doubt and he is on my mind 24/7. thats the killing part.i cant get him out.he is just stuck in me.seriously i want to talk to him hear his masculine chearpy voice.hear him scream everytime when he's in the elevator.ya he all does that. and he enjoys that, i find it amusing in a cute way which always puts a smile on my face.but seriously apart fom all that im really tired from going thro all of this again.Especially goin thro it 3 times from the same person you really feel like throwing your hand up in the air and surrender.Dear god im drained out.literally on the verge of experiencing dehydration..Im fighting this all alone with no help. My friends were there in the beginning but they said i asked for it so i deal with it this time solo. And he, i think is moving on with life pretty fast.Though he says he's going through the pain in silence as well to.which i doubt he even experiences, it just plain empty talk of his.i really want to get him out of me right now because even seeing hs image breaks me down to tears easily, and it sucks.

i hate you because you make me go thro this same shit again.
i hate you because u said you will be there but your nt even here
i hate you because you lied
i hate you because you cheated on me
i hate you because didnt even call to say hi
i hate you because you make empty promises
i hate you because you walked away from this like you did before
i hate you everytime you make an excuse.
i hate the way you call me names and curse n swear at me
worst of all i hate it because i bring myself to hate you because i still love you dearly!


he is the horse and im the rabbit.this is what a rabbit is

Rabbits are private individuals, a bit introverted and withdrawn. People e born into this sign would rather work behind-the-scenes instead of being the center of attention in any situation. Do not misunderstand…the Rabbit is not a recluse. In fact, he is a reasonably friendly individual who enjoys the company of a group of good friends whether at a business dinner or a holiday party. Rabbits just like to be a part of the gang as opposed to the leader of it.

Years of the Rabbit

Rabbit Years are fourth in the cycle, following Tiger Years, and recur every twelfth year. The Chinese New Year does not fall on a specific date, so it is essential to check the calendar to find the exact date on which each Rabbit Year actually begins.

THE SIGN OF THE RABBIT

Rabbits, like their animal counterparts, are quite calm people who do not exhibit aggressive behavior and will avoid confrontation at all costs. When angry about something, a Rabbit will approach it calmly and considerately, hardly ever raising his voice or becoming visibly annoyed. Because of their serenity, Rabbits seem to miss things, whether they are confrontational in nature or not. However, the Rabbit is quite keen and pays close attention to the situations developing around him. He is intelligent and quick and can talk himself in or out of most situations with no problem.

The Chinese Rabbit is one of the most stylish creatures of the Chinese Animal Signs and finds interest in different cultures. He is classy and sophisticated, and can be found adorning one of the latest fashion magazine cover looks. Rabbits also like artistic ventures, such as painting and music and are generally quite present in these worlds. They love top express themselves, which is evident when joining them at home for a function or a cup of coffee.

RABBIT FACTS:

People born in the Year of the Rabbit share certain characteristics. The Rabbit Sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual’s personality. Following are features associated with the Sign of the Rabbit.

Fourth in order, Chinese name-TU, sign of peace

Hour—5am-6:59am Month—March

Western Counterpart—Pisces

CHARCTERISTICS

Keen, Wise, Fragile, Tranquil, Serene, Considerate, Fashionable, Sneaky, Obsessive



IN YOUR ELEMENT

The characteristics of the Rabbit are tempered by one of the five Chinese elements of Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth overlaying a 5-year cycle of characteristics on the original 12-year cycle.

THE METAL RABBIT 1951 AND 2011

Metal gives Rabbits a more resilient demeanor than the other more quiet Rabbit. These Rabbits are very ambitious and can be quite crafty in their dealings with others. They throw themselves and their emotions into everything they do, making them intense lovers, but not outwardly affectionate lovers. Their determination can affect their work as well, whether through personal relationships with colleagues or with the work itself, a Rabbit can be known to immerse himself in his projects…business and personal.

THE WATER RABBIT 1903 AND 1963

Delicate and docile, Water Rabbits will pretty well go with the flow to avoid any conflict or argument. These situations hurt them and bother them because they are such sensitive creatures. They are usually sociable and relaxed, although sometimes they get withdrawn and introspective. They are supportive with family and friends as well as business partners and display an empathy that makes people flock to them for friendly advice and comfort. Sometimes, they can easily be taken advantage of because they are so generous with themselves and their emotions. So they have to be careful not to let their guards down so quickly.

THE WOOD RABBIT 1915 AND 1975

Wood Rabbits tend to be the least bit indecisive. This is probably due to their always wanting to play the peacemaker and not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings. Wood Rabbits are incredibly generous souls and like to avoid the spotlight instead preferring to live amongst others. These people are always kind enough to help you move into a new house, make you a hot cup of coffee or to listen while you rant and rave about your latest character flaw. The Wood Rabbit can sometimes be too kind for his own good, thus causing him to be taken advantage of and sometimes even used by others unknowingly. Rabbits have to learn to say no and to out their feet down or their cups will overflow.

THE FIRE RABBIT 1927 AND 1987

Fire adds an unspoken magnetism and mystery to the Rabbit. These creatures have a burning desire to get out there and live life to its fullest. They are active and adventurous and love anything that sparks their creativity or curiosity. They can throw tantrums here and there, if provoked, but most of the time they work very hard to avoid conflict or unpleasant confrontations. Fire Rabbits are charming and tend to push their emotions into the backs of their minds, but will speak up if necessary.

THE EARTH RABBIT 1939 AND 1999

The Earth element gives these Rabbits a sense of reality and practicality that others don’t illustrate so freely. They are able to give sound advice, which in turn gets them respect and trust from those who solicit their counsel. They take pride in their homes and work diligently to make them a place of security for their loved ones. In the same breath, Earth Rabbits put a great deal of value on material comforts and like to make money.

HEALTH AND HABITAT

HEALTH

Rabbits are apt to be sensitive to ailments and to have bad allergies. Stress or conflict will detriment the Rabbit’s health. Exercise could take off unnecessary stress and strengthen the Rabbit’s physical condition, but he tends not to work out regularly. Rabbits have to learn to incorporate more action into their everyday routines.


AT HOME WITH THE RABBIT

A Rabbit will become depressed and withdrawn if his home does not consist of beautiful possessions that make him comfortable. They are extremely organized and the best way to throw a Rabbit off is to remove something from its sitting place. They are so orderly and their homes and offices so clutter-free that it is sometimes a point of humor with their friends. Rabbits are modest in their decorating choices and choose different shades of green such as sages and turquoises.

CAREER AND FINANCE

THE RABBIT ON THE JOB

Rabbits have really good communication skills and are best utilized in positions of management. They make great teachers and PR people because they are so diplomatic and well-organized. Even so, they can also make great painters or musicians due to their sense of beauty and their love of creativity.

MONEY AND THE RABBIT

Rabbit people are usually relatively careful when it comes to their finances. And that lucky rabbit foot didn’t just come out of nowhere…Rabbits are pretty lucky folks! They use much of their money for possessions such as their homes, cars or furniture. They would rather invest their money in gadgets and things than in the stock market. They love hunting for antiques, arts and crafts and will tend to make sound investments in these types of things.

RABBIT CAREERS

Those born in the Year of the Rabbit share the same kinds of goals and objectives in life. The occupations best suited for the Rabbit are listed below:

RABBITS MAKE EXCELLENT:

Therapists

Psychiatrists

Doctors

Ophthalmologists

Writers

Masseurs

Teachers

Publishers

Designers

Actors

Musicians

Administrators

PR agents

Fashion designers

CONGENIAL BUSINESS PARTNERS


Whether Rabbits are compatible with their business partners depends on whether their signs are harmonious or antagonistic to those of their business partner. Considering the congruity of their own characters and the characters of their business partners can also be very useful.


Rabbits ruled by Benefit From Are antagonistic to


Metal Earth Sheep Fire Dragons


Water Metal Dogs Earth Roosters


Wood Water Rabbits Metal Horses


Fire Wood Snakes Water Tigers


Earth Fire Pigs Wood Monkeys


Leisurely activities and pleasures

LIKES AND DISLIKES

Since Rabbits are born under the same Animal Sign, they often share likes and dislikes. Following are similar likes and dislikes of the Rabbit personality.

Color Preference: Pale Green

Gems and Stones:

Crystal, Emerald, Pearl

Suitable Gifts: Tapestry kit, CD, fine wine, easel, lyrics book

Hobbies and Pastimes: Writing poetry, hiking, planting gardens and trees, chatting with friends

Rabbits Dislike: Touchy-feely people, abrupt curves in their routines, disorganization

THE RABBIT ON VACATION

Rabbits love to indulge in different cultures and spend a lot of their lifetimes trying to find inner peace. Sensitive and careful by nature they would be just as happy shopping for hidden treasures at the local flea market or yard sale to display in their delicately decorated homes. Rabbits tend to want to travel to traditional places such as Europe and Asia when they have time off. In addition, taking a course to release their creative energies such as photography or instrument lessons would make the Rabbit feel well-rounded and accomplished.

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES

Rabbits, although outgoing, are definitely not the leaders of the pack or the spotlight thieves. They like to be associated with a group or a club, where they find comfort in the company of others. Rabbits just happen to be low-profile people. Perhaps this is because they tend to be rather picky about who they pal around with. Rabbits love their friends and offer them all a warm refuge and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. They enjoy catching up and hanging out more than anything.

Compatible Friends

Best Friends: Sheep and Pigs

Mortal Enemy: Roosters

RABBIT PARENTS AND BABIES

Many Rabbit people have large families. The Chinese say this is due, in part, to them being the sign of fertility. Despite the record-breaking number of children any Rabbit person may have, the happiness of his partner and family is essential to his own well-being. Although they love their children intensely and take care of them quite affectionately, sometimes Rabbit parents can come off as looking uninterested or distant. Still, Rabbits are so defending of their children that they often appear strict and overbearing.

When their children are little, Rabbit parents will dress them in cute little outfits and will insist they act mild mannered and politely. Rabbits often find themselves wrapped around the tiny fingers of their kids and will do anything for them, too make them happy and to keep the peace. Rabbits despise arguing with their children, as conflict makes them quite uncomfortable, and they will avoid it at all costs. Rabbits will always be there for their children and will help them even as they grow and mature. They find themselves there for their kids throughout their lives.

RABBIT INFANT AND CHILD

Young Rabbits are very sensitive children. They tend to let their emotions get the best of them and will cry with no remorse. At school, these children often get teased for being so sensitive and become branded crybabies by other boys and girls. Rabbit children are especially close to their mothers and maintain a wonderfully close relationship with them throughout their lives. They depend on their mothers for advice and support and will reciprocate when necessary. Rabbit children are desperate for stability and routine and require a sort of scheduling to do their best work. Like the adult Rabbit, Rabbit children are likely to be quite interested in the arts, particularly in music, a subject in which most Rabbit children thrive.

RABBIT PARENT/CHILD KINSHIPS

Some parents immediately click with their children and others find they will never have a close relationship no matter how hard they try to make it happen. Following are the compatibility ratings between Rabbit parents and their children.

Rabbits with Under the same roof Compatibility Rating

Rat a bit of incongruity **

Ox pretty supportive **

Tiger conflicting views **

Rabbit very well-established ****

Dragon creativity thrives ***

Snake a solid, affectionate relationship ****

Horse not much communication *

Sheep easygoing ****

Monkey a bit of restlessness ***

Rooster argument-prone *

Dog a deep commitment ***

Pig stable and loving ****

*uphill struggle **some complications ***easy bonding ****on the same wavelength

Lovers and spouses

THE RABBIT LOVER

The Rabbit lover would never dream of wearing his heart on his sleeve. The Rabbit seems aloof, yet underneath is sensual and loving - a tough facade protects a tender interior. Rabbit folk are romantic yet realistic, generous yet mercenary. Rabbits are strongly Yin and, whether male or female, are in tune with the feminine part of their psyche. Their mothering instinct compels them to nurture others, and they have an innate love of home and family.

MARRIAGE

Rabbits are easily moved to tears through words, thoughts and actions. They are deeply sensitive people who shun conflict. Rabbits tend to be a little moody and are sometimes influenced by the friends they have. Despite their cool exterior, they have a reputation for being very sexual and intimate beings. Although they may go a little crazy in their youth, they will commit themselves readily to a partner for life.

THE RABBIT LOVE PARTNER

The Rabbit needs a partner who is affectionate and loving and who will pamper his mate a bit. A partner who shares the style and suave of the Rabbit will make a good lover for him as well. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can pint us in the right direction, we must still make all efforts to maintain loving relationships. Following is a brief description of how a Rabbit will affect a relationship with other Animal Signs.

PARTNERS IN LOVE

Rabbit*Rat

The Rat will aggravate your nerves. Better steer clear.

Rabbit*Ox

Calm and quiet…your kind of romance.

Rabbit*Tiger

You’ll make a good duo.

Rabbit*Rabbit

Destined for success…same outlook and relaxed lifestyle will keep you both quite content.

Rabbit*Dragon

Your differences cold either drive you apart or make your bond that much stronger.

Rabbit*Snake

Intense romantic ideals and heated passions make this pairing exotic and exciting!

Rabbit*Horse

You can handle it…if you want to.

Rabbit*Sheep

You share love, affection, truth…you’ll be great for each other!

Rabbit*Monkey

You’ll probably end up hurting each other irreparably.

Rabbit*Rooster

You can’t stand each other…why risk romance?

Rabbit*Dog

You’ve got potential.

Rabbit*Pig

Absolute bliss. You’re good friends and great lovers.

Love Partners at a Glance

Rabbits with Tips on Togetherness Compatibility

Rat too different *

Ox caring and sensitive ***

Tiger your differences make you closer ***

Rabbit best of mates ****

Dragon learn to compromise **

Snake intensely sexual ***

Horse pretty hard **

Sheep heavenly ****

Monkey don’t try *

Rooster no way *

Dog strong and healthy ***

Pig shared understanding ****

*dispute **keep working at it ***intense sexual attraction ****angelic



EAST MEETS WEST

ARIES RABBIT

These people need their own space and will utilize their ambitious natures by changing career patterns and personal paths throughout their lives. They need to be in motion and motivate themselves through change.

TAUREAN RABBIT

These Rabbits measure their success in the acquisitions they have made. They like the stability and comfort of nice things and work hard to provide these luxuries to themselves and their families.

GEMINI RABBIT

These people love to talk and actually, unlike most Rabbits, like to be the center of attention. They make great friends and find talking stimulates them.

CANCERIAN RABBIT

These Rabbits find themselves in a tight relationship with their mothers. They are deeply sensitive individuals who are most at ease in the comforts of their own home.

LEONINE RABBIT

These people are extremely popular with others, partly due to their suave natures. They are outgoing, yet conditioned, and are one of the most confident of these combinations.

VIRGO RABBIT

These Rabbits are incredibly and almost annoyingly organized. They can be seen as anal, but trust they will never lose anything and will finish most nay project they start. They are a bit fussy about their neatness, but are some of the most efficient people you will ever meet.

LIBRAN RABBIT

Libran Rabbits are quite the sophisticated breed and love to be in the midst of a social situation. They play the part of the socially-aware quite convincingly.

SCORPIO RABBIT

These Rabbits are demure, and you never quite know what they’ll do next. They are creative and open-minded and you can find most working in the arts. Although they are relatively stand-offish at times, they carry with them a depth of character unbeknownst to most people.

SAGITTARIAN RABBIT

These are probably the most open-minded of the Rabbits finding comfort in just relaxing at home. They don’t get caught up in the sensitive characteristics of the normal Rabbit and would rather be a little less emotional and a lot more comfortable.

CAPRICORN RABBIT

These Rabbits thrive on promotions and raises at work. They work to see their efforts rewarded and take pride in their statuses and titles at work. They are loyal, handworkers, although not showy in their endeavors.

AQUARIAN RABBIT

These Rabbits love to learn new things and search for the answers to their own questions. They are gifted with imagination and determination. These individuals would rather be rich in knowledge than in possessions.

PISCEAN RABBIT

The Piscean Rabbit is quite a complex person. He is creative and will work best in relaxed, peaceful situations where his creativity can be explored and put to good measure.


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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Ashes to Ashes,
Dust to Dust,
We were just Lust.
So let it burn into Ashes,
Then let it blow into the Dust.


Signing Off At 12:44 PM

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007






music that spins ur head makes ur body pumpin ur feet movin gettin u crunkin..yea dis is the music



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Many tried to seek for forgivness for what they have done wrong.Many tried pleading to be taken away from the whole facade of life.Some of us jus didnt giv any damn about what what's going to happen or what will the consequences be.Diff people were brought up with different morality.i guess its just the way they are being brought up.I did the most absurb thing ystd.Why i did that?i really dont know why.He was a psychiatrist.At the age of 27 a PHD holder from siberia.He questioned my mind like there was no tomorrow.The questions he asked were so simply yet it was so hard to give an answer.My mind couldnt take the pressure, then slowly tears roll down my cheeeks and then he stopped questioning.i was literally quiet throughout the whole session.Then he came and sat beside me.He was just starring at me with his arms resting on his chin, and he spoke again, "you look really beautiful and u have a model face" he said. My thoughts went wondering..Is he like trying to hit on me or something.i didnt know what to answer but i remember what someone taught me to say thank you and thank god when someone pass a compliment like that.I smiled politely and said thank you and i thanked god in my heart.He was literally freaking me out.It was almost 5pm though the consultation suppossed to end about an hour ago.He was just doing the same thing staring at me and smiling..what a perv!I finally took the initiative and said its getting late i have to leave and plus the consulation ended an hour ago.so i should leave.I stood up took my small adidas bag and headed towards the door.He trailed behind me like a predator.Suddenly he put his hands on my shoulder and turned me around so i could face him he pushed me to the wall and landed his lips on mine i was freaking out big time.i tried pushing him but he was strong enough to hold me down.Untill i bite his lips and shouted "LET ME GO YOU WHITE TRASH'.he stopped and instantenously i was so angry i slapped him across his face.He was at shock that i did that.i told him to open the door so i could leave.As soon as he opened the door i pushed him and dashed towards the elevator.Was it a rape?or was it a freaky incicent? went home and i was still in shock i literally froze in bed the whole day till about an hou ago woke up and decide to write this down..sigh..


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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

sorry been buxy lately..was out da whole day ystd after work.went out with dean to search for his erfet bdae gift.arrghh!i stil dunnoe wat to get for him..well its his bdae today!happy bdae dean!hehe..we're havin a white party later at some club!!cant wait..been sick lately from my medication im on..really stressing poping pills which suppose to calm u down bt then on the other hand makes u feel like ur a dead soul in a human body with no emotions nor feelings.. lost 3kg my weight is 54kg now!omg scary huh.well what the hell who cares anyway..i've made two new friends..a very loving couple.husband n wife.im now learning about healing from them..im going for therapy so i taught dat wud help me from all the emotion n depression dat im goin thro again..i've learn alot about these stones for healing.there many stones used for different types of healing purposes.and usually stones are used follow by their zodiac symbol alligning with the moon n sun..interesting..im very keen in learning that now at least i can put my mind to ease for a while.well im gona go get ready now for dean's bdae party!patiieeeee......


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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

jus found out the truth yesterday about my health..
People with lupus often ask:
"What amount of depression is normal?" "When should I seek professional help?"
The person with lupus is often aware that depression may be brought on:
by the lupus, itself
by the various medications used to treat lupus
by the many factors and forces in a patient's life that are unrelated to lupus.
However, there is also an uncertainty as to whether being depressed is to be expected, because of the stresses and sacrifices imposed by having a chronic illness.
UNDERSTANDING DEPRESSION
What is meant by the term "depression?"The medical condition referred to as clinical depression is not to be confused with the transitory everyday experience of a mild mood swing that everyone experiences during difficulties. Just as we feel happy or fearful or jealous or angry, we are all "depressed" from time to time.
On the other hand, clinical depressive illness is a very disabling, unpleasant and prolonged state.
Symptoms of depressionClinical depression may bring on a variety of physical and psychological symptoms.
Psychological symptoms may include:
sadness and gloom
spells of crying (often without a cause)
insomnia or restless sleep, or sleeping too much
loss of appetite, or eating too much
uneasiness or anxiety
irritability
feelings of guilt or regret
lowered self-esteem
inability to concentrate
diminished memory and recall
uncontrolable emotions
indecisiveness
lack of interest in things formerly enjoyed
fatigue
Physical symptoms may include:
headache
heart palpitations
diminished sexual interest and/or performance
body aches and pains
indigestion
constipation
diarrhea
Not all people who suffer from clinical depression have all of the above symptoms.
Patients are considered to be clinically depressed when they have:
a depressed mood
disturbances in sleep and appetite, and
at least one or two of the symptoms mentioned above which last for several weeks and are severe enough to disrupt daily life.
The challenges of diagnosing depression Even in those individuals without chronic medical conditions, most cases of depressive illness go unrecognized and untreated until the later stages of the illness. This is when the severity of the depression becomes unbearable to the patient, and/or until the family or physician can no longer ignore it.
In fact, several studies indicate that 30-50 percent of cases of major depressive illness go undiagnosed in medical settings. Perhaps more disturbing is that many studies indicate that even when recognized, major depressive disorders in the medically ill are undertreated and/or inadequately treated.Determining the severity of the depressionWhile there are many symptoms associated with clinical depression, these seven symptoms indicate the depth and degree of depression:
sense of failure
loss of social interest
sense of punishment
suicidal thoughts
dissatisfaction
indecision
crying.
Two of the most common psychological signs of clinical depression are hopelessness and helplessness.
People who feel hopeless believe that their distressing symptoms may never get better.
People who feel helpless think they are beyond help, that no one cares enough to help them or could succeed in helping, even if they tried.
Hiding depression,Many people refuse to acknowledge that they are in a depressive state and will actually deny that they are feeling unhappy, demoralized or depressed. This group of individuals often experience what physicians called "masked depression. " These people resist the notion of emotional distress, and will use various physical complaints to explain their feelings.
Physicians who are familiar with a patient's usual mood and personality, as well as their lifestyle and situation, are more likely to recognize changes associated with depressive illness. Similarly, patients are more likely to open up about their feelings when they are encouraged to do so by a physician they trust and with whom they are familiar.

DEPRESSION AND CHRONIC ILLNESS
How common is depression in people with chronic illness?Some psychiatric and medical studies state that 15 percent of those with a chronic illness suffer from clinical depression; others place this figure as high as 60 percent. Although clinical depression is certainly more common in people with chronic medical illness, (e.g., lupus) than in the general population, not every patient with a chronic illness suffers from clinical depression.
Episodes of clinical depression usually last for only a few months in patients with a chronic illness. However, a flare of the disease can also trigger depression because a person may feel he/she is never going to be free of the illness.
Isn't having chronic illness a good reason to be depressed?Unfortunately, all too common is a distorted notion that those with a chronic illness have "reason to feel depressed because they are sick." This belief interferes with early recognition, early treatment, and early relief of suffering from clinical depression. This belief also ignores the facts that clinical depression in people who are physically ill generally responds well to standard psychiatric treatments and that patients treated only for their physical illness can suffer needlessly from clinical depression.

DEPRESSION AND LUPUS Is it lupus or is it depression?Depressive illness often goes unrecognized in those who have other medical illnesses because it presents symptoms so similar to those of the underlying medical condition.
For patients with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), symptoms of depressive illness that quite naturally can be attributed to the lupus condition include:
inactivity
loss of energy and interest
insomnia
pain intensification
diminished sexual interest and/or performance.
What causes depression in lupus?There is no one cause of clinical depression in lupus; rather, there are various and different factors contributing to depression in chronic illnesses such as lupus.
The most common cause is the emotional drain from the continuous series of stresses and strains associated with coping with the chronic illness and medical condition.
Other causes may be the many sacrifices and losses required by the continuous life adjustments that a patient with a chronic illness must make.
Various medications used to treat lupus, such as steroids (e.g., prednisone), may bring about depression.
Lupus involvement of certain organs (e.g., the brain, heart, or kidneys) can lead to clinical depression.
There also are many unrecognized or unknown factors (which may or may not be related to lupus) which may cause depressive illness.
Of course, there are people who would develop clinical depression whether or not they had lupus. In fact, it is the most common psychiatric condition seen in the general population-20 percent of women and 10 percent of men-as well as in medical practice.
Can depression in lupus be treated?Today, effective treatment is available for depressive illness and usually consists of psychotropic medication, psychotherapy and, most often, a combination of both.Effective treatment requires early diagnosis and early intervention. Fortunately, most episodes of depressive illness in people with lupus subside on their own within a few months. Just as some people with lupus can tolerate a lot of pain, some seem to be able to accept and tolerate major symptoms of depressive illness without complaint.
However, depression is very stressful and anxiety-producing, which may aggravate the lupus activity. Depressive reactions should be treated with the same aggressiveness and persistence that one would use to treat a lupus flare, or any other medical complaint. Naturally, any underlying medical condition that could contribute to the depression must be identified and controlled.
Anti-depressant medicationsAnti-depressant medications are the drugs that are most often used to treat depression. The four categories of medications are:
tricyclics
newer-generation non-tricyclic anti-depressants called SSRIs-selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. These are best known by brand name: Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc.
MAO (monomine oxidase) inhibitors
lithium.
Other types of anti-depressant medications
Effexor
Serzone (nefazodone)
Wellbutrin
Remeron
Desyrel, etc.
Newer, potent anti-anxiety medications are now available and, when used in combination with the anti-depressant medications, offer significant and rapid mood stabilization and anxiety reduction.
Also, newer and safer hypnotics contribute to insomnia relief and offer uninterrupted and longer sleep.
Medication side effectsAnti-depressant medications can have side effects and may intensify various symptoms associated with lupus (e.g., increase in the drying of mucous membranes in Sjogren's Syndrome). When anti-depressant medications are effective, there is a welcome improvement in the individual's sense of well-being and overall attitude and adjustment.
Additional treatment requirementsAdequate and aggressive treatment involves many other components:
blood tests to determine the appropriate dosages of medication
open communication between the patient and treatment team
encouragement, patience, availability and perseverance between patient, physician, family and close friends
identifying and addressing any underlying medical factors that contribute to the depressive state
Cognitive changesIn people with depressive illness, there is often a general slowing and clouding of mental functions (cognition). These troublesome and not infrequent disruptions in mental functioning tend to be under-reported to physicians and are rarely confirmed to be due to any specific structural change. Fortunately, these transient alterations in mental functioning improve as the depressive condition improves.
"Lupus fog"Changes in cognition often occur in people with lupus, including subtle changes in:
memory
concentration
other cognitive functions such as:
diminished attention
lapses in awareness
impairment in recall, problem-solving, calculations, planning, and/or visual-spatial functioning).
These are quite a nuisance and can have a profound impact upon the person's self-image, daily life and planning, and in their relationships with friends, co-workers, and loved ones.
Such changes often do not come to the physician's attention unless formal mental status testing is done. The true incidence of cognitive impairment is unknown, other than that it is common.
There is no specific or characteristic cognitive deficit found in people with SLE; rather, there is a wide spectrum, variety, and combination. These deficits, though, do not appear to be related to emotional stress or use of medication such as corticosteroids.
Occasionally in SLE patients with no overt central nervous system pathology, cognitive functioning improves with anti-malarial drugs or low doses of corticosteroids.

PROGNOSIS FOR RECOVERYRecovery from depression is usually a gradual process. Dramatic improvements do not usually occur in a few days; however, one begins to see some progress after a few weeks.
MedicationEven when signs of clinical depression seem to clear quickly, it is not unusual for an individual to relapse when the medication is stopped. For this reason, medication should be continued for approximately six months or longer and the dosage should be tapered slowly over a 3-4 week period when treatment is discontinued.
PsychotherapyPsychotherapy, often in combination with anti-depressant and/or anti-anxiety medication, can be very helpful. Therapists are able to assist people with clinical depression in:
working through and understanding their illness, feelings, and relationships
learning to cope more effectively with stress and their life situation.
The benefits to the patient are best attained when the primary care physician maintains a close relationship with the individual's psychiatrist or psychologist. Such a working relationship maximizes the quality of patient care and provides the most powerful approach to the management of depression.

The Lupus Foundation of AmericaThe Lupus Foundation of America (LFA) was established in 1977 to educate and support those affected by lupus and find the cure. The LFA supports research, education, awareness


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